Standing Humiliated

I do not follow the lurid details of political scandals that hit the front pages of newspapers with a regular frequency that has ceased to be surprising. It is the usual stuff repeated time and time again - married politician engages in some sick and perverted secret behaviour, or he commits a federal felony, secret is revealed to all, politician embarrasses his wife, family and ruins his reputation, politician falls from grace, loses political power, the newspapers hound him for a time, then forget about it, and the politician resumes life. If the politician was charged with a federal felony (and not just infidelity) then he gets pardoned by his President (you need the names?).

This time it is New York's Governor Spitzer to fall from grace. I would have have scarcely paid attention to the news on this, if not for this picture that had been published on the New York Times (see above). The Governor's humiliated wife standing next to him for all the world to witness - deep and dark circles around her eyes - as he announced his resignation. I think it caught my attention because it reminded me of another woman, Hillary Clinton, who also stood by her husband who had also humiliated her in front of the world.

I have seen many wives of public figures stand next to the very man who had humiliated them in press conferences - wives appearing strained, but nevertheless projecting an image of a willingness to forgive by their act of standing by the cheating man. The idea we are supposed to get apparently is that if she, the primary victim of a cheating husband, can stomach the humiliation and the betrayal of trust, then we the public should be similarly inclined to not condemn our elected political representatives.

Well, the world's not made that way. Consequences have to follow misdeeds. And the wives' public reactions do matter because their actions send a message to young female children. If not the children of the world, how about their own children? Just what do they teach them by appearing self-sacrificing - that it is acceptable for someone (no less than their father) to betray their mother's trust, that as a wife she has to suck it in and put a strong face for the public?

These are not empowering messages; it' not what you'd want your daughters to carry in their minds.

A regular (non-political) betrayed woman who have faced infidelity in a marriage would not have stomached it as Mrs Spitzer did (much less have the temerity to advice her husband NOT to resign from his office). A regular betrayed woman would not even have the ability to face, or be near the person who had caused her pain. I dare you reader to ask around.

So when I saw Mrs Spitzer next to the Governor today, I felt disgust, not pity. Betrayal of one's trust is a deal breaker, it is not a time to be self-sacrificing. Mrs Spitzer would have commanded respect from women like myself, if she had not shared the podium with the Governor today.

Unless of course, she is like Hillary Clinton, and she wants to be the next President.