Strictly Platonic

A lot of women ask this of themselves : can a woman have a strictly platonic relationship with a man? The popular definition of a platonic relationship, used in the modern context, is a relationship that is deep and meaningful, but also non-sexual (that is, not explicitly romantic). It can be relationships with the same or opposite gender, and does not exclude relatives. Never mind what the philosophical term platonic was actually coined for way back in the 15th century - it actually has something to do with love between an older man and a younger man; homosexuality (yes, do some research on it if you don't believe me!).

Going by the modern definition, I have had platonic relationships with all of my girlfriends, my brothers, and some of my close male relatives. But since I entered into a relationship with my boyfriend, many years ago, he has became my closest confidant, and a best friend. Now I am hesistant to make friends with males because I do not see how a platonic friendship with a male will benefit me. I think that one tends to share one's innermost thoughts and feelings with a spouse, boyfriend, or partner so as to have a deep and meaningful relationship. If someone is unable to do that with one's partner and looks for it elsewhere, then that person should not be with that partner in the first place.

But is that an insular way of thinking? Especially in this day and age?

After all, you cannot hope to see eye-to-eye with one's spouse on everything, nor share the same interests. Is is acceptable to pursue your interests outside of a relationship with a strictly platonic friend of an opposite gender when you cannot share them with your spouse or partner?

One friend says that it is impossible to be a strictly platonic friend with someone of an opposite gender. That at some point in the friendship, there would be complications - either spending too much time with the friend and causing problems with the spouse or partner, or sexual tension between the strictly platonic friend and herself. I suppose that would hold true if both individuals were attracted to each other. And the worry here is that it can become a possibility later on even if the intention in the beginning was merely to share a common interest. Afterall, sexual attraction is not only based on looks, and physicality, but also based on feelings. If two individuals spend a lot of time with each other on a common interest, and enjoy it, who is to say it will not progress to something else?

Another claims that it is acceptable so long you meet up in a mixed group, and not alone, when going out with a strictly platonic friend of the opposite gender. But with a mixed group, you are unable to establish a deep and meaningful friendship with a specific individual. Instead, you are establishing a friendship with a group, and most likely, it would be a superficial friendship based on some common pursuit - for example, fun group activities like movies, bowling, or eating out. How many of us are able to share our innermost thoughts with several individuals in a group setting? Not many, I think.

I try not to over-analyze things. I like my life to be uncomplicated. When I found a partner, I wanted that partner primarily (and not anyone else) to share my life, my feelings, and my thoughts.

He is unable to be a shopping partner, and he is not much of a nature lover, so for that, I turn to my girlfriends. They're much enjoyable to shop with, and hike with anyway! But for almost all other of my interests, he's still my best partner. Isn't that the way it should be?

Simply that.