Humor | Global Financial Crisis

What a ride we've had over the last two weeks, especially during the remaining few days of last week! Well, last Friday should be the bottom, and people will begin buying again on Monday.

For all those people who lost an immense amount money, and the rest of us who are so freaked out by what has happened and have started hiding money under our beds, let's just take a deep breath and relax. The light is at the end of the tunnel.

I found something in the newspapers that actually made me smile yesterday. And that's been an infrequent occurence lately.

Enjoy!

Interesting Take on Recent Market Changes
Taking Stock of Market Terms

Stock Analyst:
The idiot who just downgraded your stock.

PE Ratio:
Number of those peeing in the pants as a ratio of falling company earnings.

Market Correction:
The day after you buy stocks, and the bears come out to play.

Yahoo:
What you yell after convincing some sucker about a "window of opportunity".

Broker:
The person who leaves others broke.

Bear Market:
A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewellery, and the husband gets no sex.

Bull Market:
When falling IQ levels can lead to rising levels.

Cash Flow:
How your money moves as it disappears down the toilet.

Standard & Poor:
Your life in a nutshell.

Window of Opportunity:
What you gaze blankly out of after you've bought Yahoo at $120 per share. It's now at....never mind.

CEO:
Chief Embezzlement Officer.

CFO:
Corporate Fraud Officer.

Value Investing:
The art of buying low and selling lower.

Institutional Investor:
Troubled investor who's now in a nuthouse.

Financial Planner:
A guy whose phone has been disconnected.

Profit:
An archaic word no longer in use.