Comments on Life After Thirty: Strictly Platonic

Hi, Merely came back here to advise you about Mobi...

2011-01-08T17:52:30.672-05:00

Hi, Merely came back here to advise you about Mobile Monopoly. This is a great system and WILL make you money, especially seeing as you own a web site. Take a quick look at the video, the system is about using Mobile Advertising which is brand new and an unexposed marketplace where you can make thousands by doing hardly any work. I assure you that after you watch their short video it will change you and it will start making you think. http://mobile-mastermind.com

ysruqoawy http://crush-the-castle.com Crush The Ca...

2010-12-26T10:10:10.183-05:00

ysruqoawy http://crush-the-castle.com Crush The Castle

More thoughts exchanged through email:

I do...

2008-03-14T13:54:00.000-04:00

More thoughts exchanged through email:

I do not believe that there are any two persons in this world who will agree on everything all the time, much less understand each other. But so long there is commonality for a framework to build a union between the two (for examples, values, morals, religious beliefs etc), it is possible to make a marriage or a relationship work between two very different individuals (eg, an artist and a scientist, or a homemaker and a professor etc). Good marriages and relationships do not happen by chance or luck - couples have to work at it.

The difference between sharing thoughts and sharing innermost thoughts (which I also take to mean soul) is simply this:

I share my thoughts on a variety of topics with most people, like I am doing right now through the Internet. I do that at work, at meetings, at social functions and in other group activities. It does not have to be superficial - it can be an intellectual sharing, it can be social fun sharing etc.

But my innermost thoughts or soul (that is, my dreams, aspirations, goals, disillisionments, or any other private thoughts that I would trust with another human) I choose to share with only a select few - my partner, my parents, my siblings or one or two of my best girlfriends. And even within this select group, I choose as to what sort of innermost thoughts I share. My partner tends to get the full version because of the nature of the relationship - ie honesty and communication between the couple is a must for it to be a good and successful relationship. My parents or siblings may not want to hear the full details (may be too troubling for them), so I share only what is needed. And so too with my girlfriends.

I hope that helps you understand better what I meant earlier.

Btw, if someone holds out on marriage or love, thinking that the next person, who comes along, may be the one to finally *truly* understand his/her "soul", then that person is only deluding themselves. One has to give in order to receive, cliched as that sounds, it means that one has to commit themselves to a relationship, in order for it blossom. It's all attitudinal, in the end, it's not magic.

I wrote this email response for someone, and thoug...

2008-03-12T23:59:00.000-04:00

I wrote this email response for someone, and thought I'd post it here for the readers:

Life is not perfect, agreed. And it is unlikely that a couple would be able to have the same interests or share all of their interests together. In fact, it is unhealthy for couples to not have interests/activities that are separate from each other. Couples do need breathing space from each other - but not at the expense of the relationship. It will become clearer what I mean, as you read what I write below.

I think it is best not to complicate our lives unnecessarily by accepting a "third" party into the equation. Be it a third party male, or female; whoever it is that commands attention, interest, or love away from the relationship between husband and wife, that is not a good arrangement, for the long run.

Remember that in Naresh's blog, he talked about sharing his soul, his innermost thoughts, and his love for another woman, who is not his wife. The dynamic of this connection (admitedly only between two minds and no physical relationship) is still on a whole different level than the dynamic of him with his best male friend, or between myself and my best girlfriend.

I thought his feelings came across rather strong for someone who is just expressing a love for a "friend". I have best girlfriends, but I would never go so far as to suggest I share my soul with them - and I cannot comprehend doing so with anyone I would categorize as a "platonic friend".

I love my father, brothers - that's platonic love, but again I will not say I share my soul with them, even if I do share my thoughts and feelings with them.

My personal belief is that it is not acceptable (for me) to share one's innermost thoughts and feelings with another non-relative male who is not my spouse or life partner because the dynamic would be on a different level.

Let us assume, I lack something in my current relationship - I would just have to find another outlet where I can express myself. But I have clear boundaries as to what forms of communication and sharing I can and will do, and with whom. My principles are already formed - so there is no chance I will accept having a third party male become my confidant (unless I choose to, and if I choose that I am implicitly saying my current relationship is no longer working, so that I am looking elsewhere). Do you understand what I mean here about having one's boundaries?

I think the divorce rate in this country (US) is as it is - 50% - precisely because people do not take the trouble to make the boundaries distinct. I am not so sure I would want to be in such a difficult situation myself, which is why I have formed my boundaries, so as to exclude males from becoming close friends. They are my colleagues, my study partners, my friends, but nothing else. It's a conscious choice.

Infidelity is not only about the body or the physical act, it is also of the mind.

Is infidelity without a physical act? You decide. I think you know what I would say to that.

But in the end, everyone is entitled to their opinions - so let us just agree to disagree :)

What works for you may not work for me, and vice versa.

We tend to ask for and give a lot more in our roma...

2008-03-11T20:12:00.000-04:00

We tend to ask for and give a lot more in our romantic relationships than we do in our platonic same gender relationships. The dynamic is totally different for the two. If you have a satisfying romantic relationship (in all senses from the physical to the emotional, spiritual and intellectual), why would there be a need fill the void with anyone else, especially from someone the opposite gender from yourself? I guess not everyone would be lucky enough to have a romantic relationship that satisfies all the senses.

No such thing as a platonic relationship with non-...

2008-03-08T18:47:00.000-05:00

No such thing as a platonic relationship with non-relatives of opposite gender.